The aversion to being alone in a public setting is an ironic one because you can never truly be alone. No seriously. You’re literally sitting, walking, or standing amongst an entire group of people who are most likely present for the same reason that you are. Theoretically, this should give you a sense of comfort or camaraderie, but it doesn’t. Instead, because of the social setting, you’re too caught up in the feeling of being watched. You regret not coming with a friend because at least that person could help act as a shield to pervasive feeling of public scrutiny. Suddenly, you feel as if a spotlight has been placed upon you and every flaw you’ve ever had is visible. Congrats, you’re now comparable to an accidental roadside attraction.
Or is this just all in your head?
In my collage, I explore the concept of being alone through a series of scanned objects and figures placed in identical positions, bright colors, and textures. Being alone can often times make one person feel especially vulnerable and transparent. It traps them in their own little bubble of discomfort and insecurities. As a result, many people avoid being alone. Other times, being alone is accompanied by a sense of beauty and peace; time spent alone can result in self love and reflection. My collage is meant to be a melding of both the aversion and desire of being alone: it’s a complicated, love-hate relationship.
So after messing around in Photoshop for the past 2 days, I’ve realized a couple of things. The biggest realization is that glassware is by far possibly THE COOLEST item you could possibly scan and put into Photoshop. The light from the scanner reflects off of it creating colorful, polished surfaces. I’ve also realized that I am by far the most indecisive person on the PLANET. I’ve changed my concept 23495720937432948 times. Approximately.
I’m also a “wingin’ it” process kind of person. I very rarely head in with a plan. I have to get handsy and just start doing things before ideas truly start to flow. It’s one of the many reasons why my proposals for studio classes usually start out as complete BS….I can’t tell my professor straight up that I have no idea what the hell I’m doing and that they should just let me figure it out.
But back to the point.
After lots of indecision and further digging, I’ve come to realize that being alone can be both a desire and an aversion. It depends on the time and place. It depends on the person. Personally for me, I don’t mind being alone when I truly am alone. It’s when I’m alone in public that I feel most bothered. And I can’t be the only one who feels this way. This immediately brought up flashbacks from the Art History final that I barely survived during Spring Semester.
Specifically, it brought back to mind a piece by the name of Paris Street; Rainy Day. It was created by Gustave Caillebotte in 1877.
This piece speaks of the modern condition. Thanks to the use and ease of technology, we’ve all come to be alone. Ironically, we’re all alone together. We just don’t realize it.
So now what I think I’m going to do with my project is scan in more glassware (bottles and jars) and then create a cityscape off of them where the people inside are trapped in their own transparent worlds. We’ll see how this goes. I’ll probably be back in 1.5 seconds to change my idea. AGAIN.
Here’s what I’ve got so far. On the left is a screenshot of the quick mask that I made on a reference picture of a girl in a fetal position. The right is a photo of the girl cut onto the flower box that I scanned in. I don’t really know the correct way to describe what I did (sorry). I was also adding details/contours to make her features and body more recognizable with the burn tool and the brush tool at 10% flow.
*Place mouse over picture for the caption. Click on the image to enlarge it.
Flower girl placed inside bottle
Another layer of the bottle was put on top to make things more realistic and allow the reflections to show through.
Finished bottle put into the composition.
Managed to realistically place the flower girl inside the bottle (:
Sometimes being alone make ironically makes it feel like the entire world is watching you.
I’ve just been looking at collages from various artists online. I’m hoping that by collecting these images I can find similarities between their formal qualities (ex: composition) and figure out my own personal style.
Sometimes being alone brings a sense of nostalgia, possibly sympathy. These pictures bring with them a sense of longing as an elderly man awaits the visit of his children and grandchildren. His t-shirt is thin and worn. His hair is thinning and the bones and veins within his hands are beginning to show. The vulnerable shot of his back is in contrast with the bright, cheery composition of the photos.
Other times being alone makes you wonder into the dark, vast unknown. There’s something about this image though that I don’t like and it’s irritating me because I can’t pin point it. Maybe it’s the fantastical quality of the painting. Or maybe it’s the snakes coming out of the trees along with the green hue of the forest. Something about this image feels too cliche.
Then, there are the people out their who are completely comfortable with themselves and enjoy being alone. I strive to become more like that one day.
These last 3 photos show a more positive side to being alone.
At this point in the project, I don’t know which aspect of being alone I want to explore.
*None of these pictures were mine. Simply click on the pictures to be taken to the source of where I found them.
Which therein leads to our reliance on the word itself and why we always seek such a compliment/ give that compliment to others despite the fact that there are other admirable traits out there that we could talk about.
2. The aversion to being alone.
This one’s pretty self explanatory. I don’t go out alone very much. The last time I did, it was to see a musical and I felt so awkward and out of place. Lord knows why. No one looked at me like I was weird or anything. Yet sadly, I felt sad and ashamed for being by myself. I blame society for this one.
3. The desire to have aesthetically pleasing media feeds (Exhibit A: Instagram).
I believe there is a fine line between an aesthetic feed being a kind of art form and a slightly toxic obsession. I haven’t figured out which one applies to me yet.